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"during an avalanche, no snowflake is innocent."
In the Internet age, language has also become an invisible weapon, each person can say a word, can also be gathered into a thousand words. Sometimes, the power of public opinion is far greater than we think.
In the seemingly glamorous entertainment industry, many stars are deeply troubled by public opinion, and some people suffer from depression as a result. Among them, he died suddenly at the age of 28, sounding the alarm to us that he was kimi-- Qiao Renliang.
In the impression, there are quite a number of depression patients 'causes, all with their own tragic family experience can not be separated from the relationship. But Joe Ren Liang is different. He has a happy family life.
Born in Shanghai in 1987, he is the only child in the family. His mother, Gao Caiping, is a people's teacher, and his father, Qiao Kangqiang, is a seaman. In those days, families with highly educated parents were very rare.
Qiao Renliang was born in such a highly educated family, and his mother once wrote a diary that belonged to Qiao Renliang alone. In this diary, she clearly recorded her joy when she learned that she was pregnant, so Qiao Renliang's birth was accompanied by love and expectation.
Gao Caiping carefully recorded when the baby kicked himself and what happened to her son after birth.
She knew very well that there were very few memories of childhood, so she wanted to record it for her son and give it to him as an adult gift when he grew up.
Not only has a considerate mother, Qiao Renliang's father is also a warm and enlightened person.
Although he works specially and spends less time at home, Qiao Kangqiang never misses every birthday of his son and even holds a ceremonial birthday party for him.
His parents were enlightened and his family was well-off. Qiao Renliang had a very happy childhood.
Although he is an only child, Qiao Renliang is not spoiled and proud, and is a very kind gentleman. From an early age, he was taught by his parents to be kind to girls and willing to help others.
This kind of personality made Qiao Renliang deeply liked by his elders. Little did he know that it was this personality that indirectly led to his depression.
Lukewarm after debutAdolescent children always have their idols.
Qiao Renliang was no exception. At that time, the "four Heavenly Kings" were popular all over the country. Qiao Renliang especially liked Aaron Kwok, who had the idea of becoming an artist, but was opposed by his parents.
They think that in the entertainment industry, one has no connections, and the other has no background, so it is very difficult to get out of the way. They only hope that their son can lead a stable life.
As soon as these words came out, Qiao Renliang revealed disappointment in his eyes, and his parents were still soft-hearted and compromised.
In 2007, Qiao Renliang signed up to participate in the "come on Hero" program, and finally made his debut as the national third runner-up.
In the interview many years later, Qiao's father was always bitter about their softness. He wondered if his fate would have been different if he had stopped his son from participating in the draft.
After his debut, Qiao Renliang, who wanted to have a grand plan, was shut out for the first time.
In fact, the talent shows at that time were already in decline, and the real dividends had been wiped out by big IP such as "Happy Boys" and "Happy Girls".
Although he made his debut in a high position, Qiao Renliang's popularity dropped after only a few "Hero" concert tours. At that time, Tianyu, as the shareholder behind it, also refused to release a record for him.
Without the support of the company and fans, Qiao Renliang's newcomer identity obviously does not have any advantage.
Since I can't be a singer, let's change the track.
Qiao Renliang opened his acting career by signing a new entertainment company.
In 2008, Qiao Renliang starred in "Night Club", which is also his film Virgo.
In the film, Qiao Renliang plays Li Junwei, an employee of the supermarket. Because it is a comedy, his shape is specially designed with steel teeth. But because of the beautiful face, many viewers called Qiao Renliang's idol baggage too heavy, destroying the funny atmosphere.
"Since you can't keep your face down, go shoot an idol drama!"
"what kind of movie does a pretty boy play? can't the director find an actor?"
For the first time, Qiao Renliang felt overwhelmed by the overwhelming negative criticism. he thought he had lost the back leg of the film, and he became unconfident with the arrival of questioning voices.
In order to hone his acting skills, Qiao Renliang seems to be obsessed. He will not only ask his friends to play a part with him, but also practice in front of the mirror.
Stress can make people look at themselves, but people are like a string. If it is too tight, it will eventually break.
In the past few years, Qiao Renliang will always fall into a depressed mood, depression gradually found him. What led to his most serious illness was the show "Beautiful fate", which he made in 2013.
In the play, he partnered with Chen Qiaoen and Huang Xiaoming to play male No.2. Because this is a play by Hunan Satellite TV, during the broadcast, the crew will go to the "Happy Camp" program to promote it.
One part of the program is to show his suitcase. Qiao Renliang especially likes pink, so the items in his suitcase are all pink, and he puts on his favorite pink suit on the spot.
In the traditional impression, men always like black and gray, while Qiao Renliang is very different, like the pink that most women like. With the broadcast of the program, a bigger storm of public opinion is waiting for him.
Netizens have risen from attacking Qiao Renliang's acting skills to his appearance and character. "sissy" has become the most common word in the bad criticism because he has red and Phoenix eyes and likes pink. Some people even take it seriously, not only abusing Qiao Renliang, but also his family.
In the face of the bad criticism, Qiao Renliang became more and more suspicious of himself, accompanied by depression and insomnia, which was also the most serious period of his depression.
Depression is actually a kind of good disease, it will not hurt others, it will only hurt themselves.
Since Qiao Renliang knew that he was ill, he did not confide to anyone around him, but always chose to digest his emotions silently. He was afraid that his bad mood would bring burden to others and chose to face the storm.
Gradually, Qiao Renliang began to hurt himself, always with large and small wounds on his hands.
When he came home one day, Qiao Kangqiang found out and asked his son what was going on. Qiao Renliang only said that he was injured by filming.
In the face of his parents, he also reported the good news but not the bad news.
Except for the wound on his body, the son behaved very normally, and the old couple didn't think much about it. In fact, Qiao Renliang was on the verge of collapse at this time. His somatization symptoms were so serious that he sometimes had insomnia for a month and could not sleep without drugs.
In 2016, the bad news came when Qiao Renliang, 28, committed suicide at his home in Shanghai, and everyone was shocked.
It was only at this time that people discovered that the once-on-screen "smiling Boy" had been suffering from depression in private and lived such a miserable life.
At this time, public opinion began to be one-sided again, and everyone was distressed by Qiao Renliang one after another. in fact, his parents were the most distressing.
After hearing the news, Gao Caiping was devastated and fell ill. As the pillar of the family, Qiao Kangqiang knows that he must not fall down at this time.
Holding back his sadness, he arranged a funeral for Qiao Renliang and gave him his last ride with his son's favorite pink. On the day of the funeral, many of Qiao Renliang's friends and fans were present to accompany him through the last hurdle of his life.
Those who used to be full of bad critics have disappeared. are they disguised as distressed netizens, or do they hide in guilt?
Parents forced themselves out of the haze.Depressed patients have described the disease this way, he said that it is like a black dog suddenly in life, he is watching himself all the time, whether he is eating or sleeping, constantly conveying all kinds of negative emotions to himself.
Qiao Renliang suffers from "smile depression", that is, acting normal or even cheerful in front of everyone, closing the door and plunging himself into an endless bad mood.
Qiao Kangqiang and his wife blamed themselves for not noticing their son's abnormality earlier, but the people who were left had no choice but to start a new life.
The old couple kept their son's most cherished cosmetics brand alive, and with the development of self-media, they photographed their daily life on the Internet, forcing themselves to be busy.
Gao Caiping said: "only when I am busy with my work can I forget the pain of losing my son for a while." Mother is in charge of filming, father is in charge of cooking, and their account name is also "Joe's Dad and Joe's Mom", in order to make people remember their son.
Thankfully, fans and friends haven't forgotten about the boy. Every year, they would come to Qiao Renliang's grave and present him with his favorite pink roses.
Although most netizens support Qiao Renliang's parents, a few netizens blame them. They are not only picky about their appearance, but also say that they are in order to spend their son to earn money, and there are often malicious voices in the comment area.
It was only then that Father Joe realized how much his son had suffered from public opinion. Although it has been more than half of my life, I and my wife could not withdraw calmly in the face of malicious messages in the comment area.
Now, there are fewer malicious messages in the comment area, and people have found that Qiao's parents, who are from the media, have more smiles on their faces than they did in the years when they just lost their son.
After filming the video, the two of them will also share their simple lives, communicate with fans and their son's fans, and affectionately call them children.
Now seven years have passed since the death of Qiao Renliang, Qiao's parents are gradually coming out of the haze, just like their son, they spread their goodwill to everyone and let everyone remember the bright kimi.
What is held in the heart is called emotion. in the face of depression, we should learn to dredge ourselves and not to have too high demands on ourselves.
Occasional depression, to be able to accept it, after all, no one can be happy all the time. Depression is a disease, not hypocrisy. We should be kind to this group.
At the same time, we should be responsible for our speeches on the Internet, and we should not aim the hostility of life at others, because it is impossible to say that the bad comments we have mentioned will one day turn into bullets and shoot at the center of our eyebrows.
Speaking cautiously on the Internet is not only responsible to others, but also to yourself.
